There comes a moment when the weight of constant commitments becomes overwhelming. Anxiety begins to creep in, tightening its grip, and before long, it’s hard to breathe under the pressure of trying to meet everyone’s expectations. In one such moment, someone who had always been admired but never fully known extended a helping hand. Calm, collected, and unbothered by the chaos around her, she shared her thoughts freely. In the middle of her openness, she passed along a book: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life. It was in this quiet exchange that the importance of boundaries began to unfold.
For many, saying “no” is a difficult word. It brings guilt, the feeling of rejection, and often the fear of disappointing others. The idea of turning someone down feels like a betrayal of one’s duty to always help, to always be there. And yet, the truth many avoid is that constantly saying yes, without considering the impact, does more harm than good—both for oneself and for others.
Women, in particular, are often raised to fulfill the role of the helper, the caregiver, the one who supports those around them. This pressure can shape a belief that self-worth is tied to constant service, that saying “yes” is synonymous with love. However, this cycle can quickly turn unhealthy. The truth is, constantly taking on others’ responsibilities doesn’t just overextend one’s own capacity—it undermines the growth of both parties.
The anxiety that comes with being the “Yes Woman” often arises from a deep-seated belief that one person can solve every problem, that they are the sole savior of the situation. This fallacy can lead to burnout, stunted relationships, and a misguided sense of self-importance.
The temptation to overcommit is strong. Without boundaries, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that saying “yes” will earn approval or that sacrificing oneself is an act of pure service. However, true service doesn’t mean neglecting one’s own needs. In fact, by taking care of oneself—prioritizing rest, self-care, and personal well-being—one can show up as a more genuine, effective support to others.
“Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It’s simply common sense.” – The Enneagram Institute
The real freedom lies in recognizing that saying “no” is not a rejection of others, but a reclaiming of one’s own power and peace. When individuals set clear boundaries, they free themselves to serve others not out of obligation or guilt, but from a place of love and balance.
Before committing to anything next time, consider asking these three questions:
- Am I sacrificing my own well-being to take on someone else’s responsibilities?
- Am I more focused on appearing helpful than on genuinely helping?
- Will my short-term assistance benefit this person in the long run, or am I enabling them to avoid their own growth?
It’s easy to fall into the trap of overcommitting. But by pausing and reflecting on these questions, one can avoid burnout and build stronger, healthier relationships—both with others and with oneself.
